Copley at Stoughton

Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center

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Tips for Moving Your Loved One to Long-Term Care

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One of the questions I get most often from people considering Copley at Stoughton is, “How easy will it be for my parent/grandparent/loved one to adjust to long-term care?” Personally, I understand the struggle as I’ve had my own family make this same transition. To be honest, my own mother-in-law was probably one of the most difficult transitions I’ve ever experienced.  I will say, after a few months she acclimated and loved calling Copley “home” I actually had to make an appointment to visit her.

Of course, every person is different. Some people adjust very well. For others, moving away from the home they have lived in for years – or decades – can be difficult. We do everything we can to make the move easier, but a lot of the emotional support has to come from the family. Be assured, we have never had a resident not adjust, some just take longer than others.

Here are a few general tips for helping your loved one move into long-term care:

Plan ahead. Take care of business. Don’t wait to the last minute. Tour as many places as possible. If you’re not comfortable, will your family member be? Meet the staff and administrator. Once you find a place that is a good fit and feels right, do not procrastinate.  It is often difficult to find a bed in the home you want if you wait until the day you need it.

Be Prepared. Everything will be wrong at first. Complaints are normal, as the person moving in is well aware that only you can be the one to take them back. Be strong and don’t allow them to take advantage of your soft spot, give it time.

Involve the whole family. It’s easier if everyone takes part, including your loved one, if possible. Talking about the move helps everyone adjust. It’s also a good idea for everyone to do a site visit ahead of moving day. In fact, we strongly encourage this.

Try to make it as homey as possible. Celebrate the move with flowers, family photos, a plant, bedding, or other housewarming gifts. Pre-paid cell phones or an iPad are also popular and help your loved ones contact family members when they need to. Make their space familiar.

Share a meal. It’s more fun and meaningful if the whole family is there to share a meal together after the move. Your loved one’s new home should be a comfortable space for everyone else too. At Copley, we always encourage family visits! The pub on the second floor is the perfect spot for a family dinner together.

Lastly, family members themselves may also have to adjust. Besides helping with the physical move and getting used to visiting their loved one in a new place, you can experience a range of feelings. Guilt, anger, relief, embarrassment – I’ve seen it all, and it’s natural. Be sure to reflect on your own feelings and know that you’re not alone. Our admissions staff and I will be happy to address any questions you may have. We have an open-door policy.

The bottom line is that we all want what’s best for our loved ones. Copley will do everything possible to help them feel safe, secure, and right at home. The support you give will go a long way as well.

No Math Can Measure Family

by Steven Tyer

The other day I noticed Cheryl, our activities director, helping one of our residents with one of her creative projects.  Cheryl has been our activities director for over 10 years and it struck me at that moment that many of our staff have been at Copley for a decade or more.   Jill C., Jenn E., Kathy C., Chris S., Claire F., Marie R., Jill O., Evelyn R. and Gislene F., have all been at Copley for over 20 years!  I work with another group of 15 seriously dedicated staff that have been at Copley for over 15 years.  I personally will be at Copley for 8 years this coming February and still feel like the new kid on the block.  It is a great feeling to have as the administrator since staff turnover is notoriously high in healthcare facilities.

So what makes us different? Cheryl has said that Copley at Stoughton feels more like a home than a workplace, and that we all feel like family rather than co-workers and residents.  I’ll admit, this fills me with pride. It’s a validation that our philosophy of care has a positive impact on our employees as well as our residents.

Copley at Stoughton is one of the last privately owned nursing homes in the state. More than that, we do everything we can to hire directly from the community. As many of you know, I was born and raised in Stoughton. I think any care facility works best if it’s community-based – care-focused programs built by the community, for the community. Long-term care facilities owned by large companies have a completely different focus. It’s not that they don’t care about their residents; they do. But that type of environment changes the experience for the resident and the employees as well.

The reason you see such a high staff turnover in this industry is that you can get burned out too easily. Long-term care and rehabilitation can be emotionally exhausting for care professionals. Organizations need to provide support, not add more stress. We have an open door policy here for our employees. We want to know how they are doing, and how we are doing to make sure their needs are being met and they feel appreciated.  We are committed to providing a level of support to our employees so they know we value them professionally and personally.

The bottom line for me is that you cannot quantify care. When staff focuses on providing outstanding care rather than all the care that fits within a budget, our residents are in better hands. And when administration treats staff like family instead of replaceable parts in a system, you get great staff members who treat our residents like family, too.